My photo is placed here to show you what I look like (often) when I don’t hang out with a certain old friend.
Her name is Comparative Self. When I let her tag along I feel insecure and anxious. She likes to say things that make me feel less-than. She is rude!
When I ditch her, I have fun!
Recently was blessed to travel to Dallas, Texas for a CWIMA’s Annual National Conference.
I ended up in a hotel suite with three beautiful and accomplished women.Outside of our room I met more women with incredible stories and career/ministry paths who do big things in big cities. I live in Eugene, OR. Comparative Self wasn’t there to point things out, insult me, or chime in!
I believe part of “comparing” is how our brain processes, always putting things in order and into categories. Some comparison is essential. It is what helps keep society in tack. It sets necessary boundaries for us in some areas. But the other part of comparison is simply toxic and pointless thinking.
And for those of us who are believers in Christ, we know the ground is level at the Cross. And that is exactly what I saw and experienced. These were ordinary women (well, beautiful, smart, etc.) who desired to pursue with excellence, their dreams and calls.
Did it matter that the women came from big cities and knew big names? Did it matter that they had written scores of books, have their beautiful faces on magazine covers, produce films, that they are changing the face of the world by their ministries? No, we are all at different places and we have different purposes, right?
When we compare ourselves to others it diminishes our freedom. By not taking my old friend, Comparative Self, I was boundless. And at times I laughed so hard it hurt because I wasn’t caught up in the comparison game. I was free to be me and appreciate who these women were. We had fun and learned new things together.
Be aware of the presence of Comparative Self. She causes division, shame, insecurities galore, and more. Leave her/him behind and become a boundless person, not held back by perceived “rankings.”
When you hear the voice of the Comparative Self–just tell it to shush up and go sit down. Hence keeping your freedom to enjoy life!